June 10

10 June 2007 at 10:06 pm Leave a comment

Today I woke at a normal time, but not refreshes, and I spent the whole useless day in my cousin’s house. I played, I talked, I ate, I watched, but my mind was blank all along. And I felt so stupid in this world. Correction. I feel so stupid in this world. Before I did not think, I just lived.

Then I was taken to my home. And then my true mood, which had until then hidden so well, was revealed. I did not see any point in living any more. I felt tired of life, I wanted to hit everyone, I wanted to die young. Very young. But there was nothing I could do.

My head’s in a muddle. I don’t know weather to keep on going or to stop and give up. I don’t know weather to tell him i’m desperately in love with him, or to let it rest for an eternity. I don’t know. What’s more, I can’t write. I’m just plotting rubbish on the screen, and I’m going to publish it. I just wish I were dead, or dying. I know it’s harsh. But it’s me, and it’s my blog.

On top of my stupid life, there is stupid family; Candelaria is ill, my parents are away, and my grandmother tries to control my house and it’s driving me CRAZY!!! Oh! And i’m tired of being th eldest, of feeling the responsability of doing everything right and leading the children. I’m just tired of life.

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Entry filed under: Diary.

Who wins in the end? Parents treat their children equally?!

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