8th June 2008

8 June 2008 at 10:33 pm 2 comments

I a month’s time, I’m going to my home country to visit some family and friends. It’s been just under a year since I left, and it will be a yearn then. I’m just mad I’m even here in the firsst place. Oh well! I’ll just have to wait until decide for myself in any case. I cant wait for the day My parents wont drag me in anything they deicde do.

 

However, my parents have nothing to do with my worries at the moment. I know if I see him, something inside of me will be awakened. And that something will start thumping. But it can’t. I’ve spent so long trying to forget him, and the feelings I used to have for  him. For the past half year or so, I didn’t write a single love post, and here I am, mourning for an unreturned “love” which hasn’t even been ravived… or did it ever die? This is really confusing and hurting.

 

Let’s go back to the past, so I can think more clearly. It began two… no 2 and a half years ago. It was the end of the school year, so it was easy to forget him over the summer holidays, when I really didn’t see him. But then, a month or so after school began, I found myself very good friends with him, and thus, I fell ofr him again. Let’s make this clear: no way I’m saying love. I’m far to young to know what love is. Anyway, that fire was re-kildled, and it went strong till I moved again. Then, it took about half a year, but I’m still not sure if it has escaped me alltogehter. But when he’s the most popular guy, and you are just “the smart, spaz kid with the dorky teeth”, alll he could ever be is my friend, and I would be lucky enough to call him friend.

 

Even thinking about it makes my heart beat faster. I want to see him, but I also desperately need to avoid him… if only this were a movie! But then, I dispise movies with a happy ending. At least if he felt something towards me… if I at least could be home every day, and see him in school, but oh no! My parents drag me along in every mess they decide to get themselves in :–(

 

I’d better stop thinking about this, before I burst into pitiful, weak tears

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Entry filed under: Diary, love. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

And to Think I Called you Friend Lunatic!

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. leafless  |  9 June 2008 at 5:40 pm

    You are a lot better than you think you are. Love isn’t always about look. Have courage.

    Reply
  • 2. fireryeyes  |  10 June 2008 at 5:52 am

    Incredicble how people get attracted to love posts… about a year ago, when all I did was write love posts, I got a LOT of comments… well, for me anyway
    :–)

    Reply

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