8th June 2008

I a month’s time, I’m going to my home country to visit some family and friends. It’s been just under a year since I left, and it will be a yearn then. I’m just mad I’m even here in the firsst place. Oh well! I’ll just have to wait until decide for myself in any case. I cant wait for the day My parents wont drag me in anything they deicde do.


However, my parents have nothing to do with my worries at the moment. I know if I see him, something inside of me will be awakened. And that something will start thumping. But it can’t. I’ve spent so long trying to forget him, and the feelings I used to have for  him. For the past half year or so, I didn’t write a single love post, and here I am, mourning for an unreturned “love” which hasn’t even been ravived… or did it ever die? This is really confusing and hurting.


Let’s go back to the past, so I can think more clearly. It began two… no 2 and a half years ago. It was the end of the school year, so it was easy to forget him over the summer holidays, when I really didn’t see him. But then, a month or so after school began, I found myself very good friends with him, and thus, I fell ofr him again. Let’s make this clear: no way I’m saying love. I’m far to young to know what love is. Anyway, that fire was re-kildled, and it went strong till I moved again. Then, it took about half a year, but I’m still not sure if it has escaped me alltogehter. But when he’s the most popular guy, and you are just “the smart, spaz kid with the dorky teeth”, alll he could ever be is my friend, and I would be lucky enough to call him friend.


Even thinking about it makes my heart beat faster. I want to see him, but I also desperately need to avoid him… if only this were a movie! But then, I dispise movies with a happy ending. At least if he felt something towards me… if I at least could be home every day, and see him in school, but oh no! My parents drag me along in every mess they decide to get themselves in :–(


I’d better stop thinking about this, before I burst into pitiful, weak tears


8 June 2008 at 10:33 pm 2 comments

And to Think I Called you Friend

This is a poem inspired by a friend, who wrote a short story about a girl who run away from home and died. Admittedly, the story wasn’t that good (I didn’t have heart to tell her so- the plot was good, but the writing was ok-ish). Anyway, she wrote it in 1st person, and she wasn’t angry at the friend who ran away, but in this poem she is… Well, let’s let it speak for itself. Oh! and I need a better title suggestion!!!


Looking out the window,

Seeing the world go by.

When was the last time she spoke?



A raindrop falling from the sky,

The Heaven’s crying for me.

Why did she have to walk away?



Laughing in the rain,

Two friends joking around.

When was the last time she waved goodbye?



A thunder raging though the stars,

Reflecting the pain I feel today.

Why did she have to be so cruel?



Befriending me she taught me love,

Leaving she broke my heart,

Dying she crushed my hope,

And to think I called her friend.

7 June 2008 at 10:02 pm 2 comments

Killing Time

This is a short story/description I wrote for one of my friend’s drawings… I’ll try to get a link to it WHEN she accepts the description’s final version AND scans it in

It had been a foggy night when her father had been murdered, and she’d been turned out of her house with her sister. She’d vowed revenge on those who had brought that upon her. So, with a dagger in one hand, and a lamp in the other, she’d crept though the forest, to perform her first killing.

It’s been a year today. she thought, sadly. She held her lamp up high. It shined on the walls she knew so well it could’ve been her house. Her agitated breathing disturbed a fly on the wall. She’d done this so many times. Then why was she nervous? For the past year, her nights had been based on killing all of them. One by one. And she’d managed to shut all thought, all possible guilt from her mind.

Not today. Today was different. She turned her face to a side. No. Don’t think. But it was so cruel. So young. Why? Why would such a child want to kill? Behind her, determined as she’d been on that first day, stood her sister. Six years old, and already about to lose her innocence. How had she allowed this to happen? She turned again to the door in front. She fought all desire to turn her sister away, to shed tear. Innocence was for the weak. Good. Once more, she wiped all thought from her mind.

Without thinking any longer, she put out the flame, and, placing the lamp on the floor, she pushed the heavy door open. She gripped the dagger. Slowly, almost unconsciously, she stepped into the darkness. Her sister, without hesitation, entered behind her, smiling.

It was killing time.

21 May 2008 at 5:36 pm 4 comments

Human Experimenting

I’ve been having a lot on my mind lately (a couple of GCSEs, internal exams, revision, etc.), but I had to take twenty minutes of my overly-occupied life. And it all began with some crazy scientist wanting to “save millions of lives” by experimenting on “humans that aren’t really human, so they can be killed anyway”. Well, I wish I could say humanity triumphed, but I’m afraid it didn’t. Click here  for more information.

So, now comes my terribly angry complaint against working on innocent human beings, who ARE alive, and have the potential to grow into a successful, friendly adult. Just because he/she doesn’t have the opinion on what is done, on what DNA research has to be done on a developing, innocent human, doesn’t mean we can take advantage of him/her!!

This is getting quite emotional, but what I mean to say with this is that, even though DNA, neurology, and all that is still quite unknown about us, and the rest of the world/universe, fascinate me, I’m not prepared to kill embryos, human beings, for advances in science… I think this time science has gone too far.

Next time you look at your friend, or your next door neighbour think what would have happened if they had just been lab material. I think science is great. It has done a lot for people, and managed to save millions of lives. However, so many people are against animal testing (which I don’t care as much, sadly)… then how come this bill was passed? Should the EU, which BANS animal testing, not ban HUMAN testing as well? Isn’t it against moral issues? Some may say that it’s not yet a human being… fine. Next time you, or someone dear to you gets pregnant, or has a child, imagine if he/she had been killed, or even been simple “lab stuff”. THEN we’ll talk.

Oh well. Just had to get my anger, disappointment, and hurt out of me somehow… it’s just painful to think that live people should be tested on. But I guess I’m young, and unknowing. 😥

19 May 2008 at 9:42 pm Leave a comment

How to Cure Writer’s Inspiration

Lately, I’ve been having a lot of inspiration. Too much, sadly. Or maybe I don’t have enough time to satisfy writer’s hunger. So… what should a writer, an aspiring writer, or even someone who has just been struck by the lightning of inspiration do, when they don’t have enough time to actually WRITE?

Well… WRITE! I know it sounds stupid, but it’s better to write for 20 minutes each day to at least quench the thirst slightly, and well, it might even disappear in due course. REMEMBER! Many writers would die for a chance of good inspiration, so value it, because it doesn’t come that often… unless it does, which you MIGHT consider becoming a full-time writer! (For me, it usually comes once every one or two months, and I just write for fun!) So… here’s a few ideas on what to do…

Start a Blog or Website

This is generally a good idea because you can write in short poems, stories, images, etc., which all your friends can view, and it’s always exciting when you see the hits going up (eg. I was thrilled that one day I got around 353 hits!!) For more info, click here.

Write a Short Story

If you write a page a day, you’ll probably have a good short story by the time your inspiration had disappeared. It might even be so good you win a competition! The only competition I won was Maytthews Young Writer’s Competition, with a short story I wrote for an English Exam in 2005/6. Obviously I improved it, but the main idea was that in 45mins, I managed to create a GOOD, prize-winning story because I had inspiration

Start a Diary

Not very rewarding, but you can pour your feelings into it, and you might even like to continue after inspiration has fled. Writing in a diary is good because it makes you think more clearly, and generally gets your innermost feelings out… it’s also fun re-reading the diaries a few days/moths/years later!

Write a Story Plan

This is more if you are a writer or an aspiring writer, or you wish to write a novel or longer story, but lack the time. Once you’ve done the plan, you can stuff it somewhere SAFE you can go back to later, and re-read, re-write, and even create a good, effective story when you DO have time (nothing more hideous than a rushed book)

Well, times up. I’ve written this in 20mins, and I feel I’ve achieved quite a something. It’s even helped me!

12 May 2008 at 9:42 pm Leave a comment

Burma and Tents

It’s been quite a while since I written, and I know- I’ve had a lot of things in my mind, and many ideas for the blog, just not enough time to execute them. So hopefully, after exams are over in a month or so, I can start writing more regularly!

It’s truly quite surprising to see how, in difficult times, the world seems to unite, like it should at all times, and fight against the natural evils of this world. This actually came to me, as I reflected on the cyclone in Myanmar (Burma), which I’m sure everyone’s heard of. Whether it’s Google, the DEC, the radio (well, ads on it, anyway), or any other type of organization, media, etc., most countries are willing to help. And what is more stupid than a country which doesn’t want to help itself and its people? When the world is ready to give aid, why stop it?

On other matters, after some extent of thinking, a phrase popped up into my mind:

“Build your own tent, or when it collapses, you wont know how to rebuild it”

I think I invented it, or I might have heard it somewhere else, (I probably invented it), but basically, it was based on a friend, but she really shouldn’t know this. Thing is, when one doesn’t build one’s own, strong base, then, when you start adding things on top, which aren’t probably very strong either, the tower becomes wobbly, and everything falls everywhere. Now, add on top of that wobbly tower, a person who is constructing it of you. Say that person is guiding your every step- you couldn’t live without that person. Yep… if that person leaves, disappears from you life, then what are you going to do when that tower/tent collapses? Get another builder who is going to create ANOTHER wobbly tower, or have a go yourself, creating a strong base, so you can start adding height, AFTER you are sure the whole base is safe? I’ll say no more- my point is made…

I might add some more phrases like these I made up, some time

11 May 2008 at 9:33 pm Leave a comment

Breaking Free

I don’t usually write more than one thing a day, but this poem (like many others) came to me as I was doing some quick creative, poem writing, just as with “Never-Ending Sleep“. Obviously, it won’t be half as good, but it’s still good for a 15-minute writing = )



And then the world shall turn black,

And the stars shall disappear.

That shall be the time

You shall shine,

Like the true beauty you are.


And then seas rise up,

And the winds break free,

That shall be the time

You shall be recognised,

Like the true leader you are.


And then my life will end,

And your heart be broken,

That shall be the time,

You shall live,

Like the true bird you are.


21 April 2008 at 10:01 pm Leave a comment

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